There is a tendency when first confronted with a loved one having Alzheimer’s to figuratively speaking want to “throw in the towel” or “fold up your tent”, feeling that all is lost. I wouldn’t want to offer anyone false hope, or minimize in anyway the difficulties and loss associated with memory impaired dementia, but upon reflection there were so many positive and constructive experiences after Kristie was diagnosed with early-onset Alzheimer’s that I refer to our next five years as “Good Time” while we were still able to enjoy life, travel, and accomplish so much.
As is often
the case with early-onset Alzheimer’s, I still had to work, but tried to focus
my attention on being with my wife when I wasn’t at work. We were fortunate, because Kristie’s mother
was living with us and was able to monitor Kristie during the day. It is a delicate dance, however, when your
partner is no longer able to function and be responsible for things that are
vital and were always their responsibility, or just second nature to them. You certainly don’t want add to their insecurity
or harm their self-confidence by making them feel embarrassed or stupid by either:
1) allowing or setting them up to fail, or 2) assuming they are no longer able
to do anything.
It became
apparent both before and after getting a diagnosis, that Kristie was no longer
able to operate and manage things at home. Little by little, I had to take on more
responsibilities, like paying the bills, cleaning the house, planning meals,
and shopping for food and household supplies.
I tried as much as possible to make these activities a joint venture,
offering to help her as we transitioned inevitably over time to where she was assisting
me.
A primary
emphasis was spending time together to calendar, plan, and organize our efforts
to accomplish what we previously had done individually. This had the effect of uniting us and making
us feel that we were a team as we jointly helped each other adapt to address
and deal with the constraints of her impaired memory. It is strange how empowering and organized our
weekly planning time made us feel, as our calendaring and working together helped
overcome any incompetence, forgetfulness, and lack of confidence.
One of the best things we did to facilitate “Good Time” was the scheduling of a weekly activity or day trip, which would give us something to both look forward to, and also something we could pleasantly reflect upon afterwards. There is no question that good memories are better than bad memories, so I determined to plan something every week that could facilitate a good memory. Hopefully this link captures some of our wonderful memories during "Good Time".
*Note - I strongly encourage traveling and making good memories while it is still possible in the early stages of Alzheimer's. You will be so glad you did, and provide something wonderful to remember and look back on.
Your comments or willingness to share related experiences below would be helpful and appreciated.
Resource Links
- National Institute on Aging - Adapting activities for people with Alzheimer's disease.
- Mayo Clinic - Alzheimer's and dementia care tips for daily tasks.
- Alzheimer's Association - Suggestions and ideas for Alzheimer's friendly activities.
- Alzheimer's Association - Travel suggestions for someone with Alzheimer's.
- Alzheimer's Association - Daily care plan.
- SuperCarers - 13 stimulating dementia activities to try with your loved one.
- DailyCaring - 9 enjoyable activities for seniors with limited mobility.
- DailyCaring - 6 refreshing outdoor activities to enjoy with your loved one.
- Alzheimers.net - 10 stimulating activities for Alzheimer's.
- Adventures of a Caregiver - Huge list of dementia activities.
- WebMD - Better daily life for a loved one with Alzheimer's.
No comments:
Post a Comment